A few years ago Dr. Al Mohler identified 13 Marks of Manhood (see From Boy to Man: The Marks of Manhood Part 1 and Part 2). I appreciate Dr. Mohler sharing this wisdom, especially as a man who was raised without a father and who didn't benefit from having an example of what it means to be a man, because we live in a society that has forgotten what it means to be a man. Not only do Dr. Mohler's comments help us judge ourselves (I know I have certainly not arrived when I compare myself to these standards), but I think they're also useful for boys to keep in mind when setting goals for who they want to be and when measuring the worthiness of the "heroes" they've adopted.
As a fan of John Mayer and his music, I was disappointed to learn of his recent comments in an interview that included racist remarks and racy details of sex with Jessica Simpson. For me it was a reminder that we all too often separate art from the artist and thereby excuse the behavior of our "heroes" because of how much we appreciate what they do. Whether it's Tiger Woods or John Mayer, we have tendency in our culture to allow talent to overshadow the integrity and moral reasoning of those who make us cheer.
Tim Challies has put together two guides, one for married men and another for single men, focused on the Biblical position on sex and applying that truth to a several important peripheral issues (pornography, addiction, masturbation, and so on).
Below is a spinet, directed at married men, that I especially appreciated. If husbands who struggle with pornography can come to see pornography in this way, as a sin that is radically changing their hearts and minds (even the way in which they look and feel for their wives), then I think it will mark a first step toward conquering this sin. Here's what Challies writes:
(Pornography) has reshaped your mind and your heart in certain ways, and has even shaped your understanding of your own wife! You are looking at her through the eyes of a pornographer! Would you want Hugh Hefner staring at your wife’s body, looking it up and down? And yet there you are looking at her through his eyes—through the eyes he and others like him have given you through your consumption of their pornography.
What you need to do is to borrow God’s eyes and prepare yourself to look at your wife through that lens, through that filter. You need to replace lies with truth. And God has given you the Bible so you can do just that. Through the Bible we are able to borrow God’s eyes and to see the world as he sees it.
You can download these two resources in e-book form for free:
Sexual Detox: A Guide for the Single Guy
Sexual Detox: A Guide for the Married Guy
HT: Challies
