John Mayer and Manhood

A few years ago Dr. Al Mohler identified 13 Marks of Manhood (see From Boy to Man: The Marks of Manhood Part 1 and Part 2).  I appreciate Dr. Mohler sharing this wisdom, especially as a man who was raised without a father and who didn't benefit from having an example of what it means to be a man, because we live in a society that has forgotten what it means to be a man.  Not only do Dr. Mohler's comments help us judge ourselves (I know I have certainly not arrived when I compare myself to these standards), but I think they're also useful for boys to keep in mind when setting goals for who they want to be and when measuring the worthiness of the "heroes" they've adopted. 

As a fan of John Mayer and his music, I was disappointed to learn of his recent comments in an interview that included racist remarks and racy details of sex with Jessica Simpson.  For me it was a reminder that we all too often separate art from the artist and thereby excuse the behavior of our "heroes" because of how much we appreciate what they do.  Whether it's Tiger Woods or John Mayer, we have tendency in our culture to allow talent to overshadow the integrity and moral reasoning of those who make us cheer.  

I think Dr. Mohler's  comments about moral maturity are particularity relevant in the world we live in today.  He says:

Stereotypical behavior on the part of young males is, in the main, marked by recklessness, irresponsibility and worse. As a boy grows into manhood, he must develop moral maturity as he aspires to righteousness, learning to think like a Christian, act like a Christian and show others how to do the same. The Christian man is to be an example to others, teaching by both precept and example.

Of course, this requires the exercise of responsible moral reasoning. True moral education begins with a clear understanding of moral standards, but must move to the higher level of moral reasoning by which a young man learns how biblical principles are translated into godly living and how the moral challenges of his day must be met with the truths revealed in God's inerrant and infallible word.

I think John Mayer would agree.  Amidst criticism for his comments he issued a tearful, lengthy apology at his concert in Nashville on Wednesday night.  Wringing his hands on stage, he told his audience that he fell into "a wormhole of selfishness, greediness and arrogance" and "in the quest to be clever, forgot about the people who love me and that I love." 

We all fall in "wormholes of selfish, greediness and arrogance."  We all do.  And when we do, not only do we hurt others, but we miss the mark of manhood that God has set before us in His word.  But instead of turning our backs on our "heroes," we must learn from their failures, remind ourselves that they are human (and ask God to forgive us for forgetting), and reflect on our own lives as we strive to be real men in a world that has so few.